Level Up Achieved – Turning 18

Today I turned 18.

This is a milestone for me. Not in the regular sense of becoming an adult and thus legally being able to fill my whole room with alcohol, but in the sense that I’ve somehow made it through my teenage years and I’m about to move onto the next stage of my life. This blog has been like a diary to me and it’s crazy to think that I created it back when I was only 14. I wasn’t really sure where this blog would take me, but if I could at least reach one person and help them in any way, then I was a happy camper. To be truthful, as each 365 day round trip passes by, I’m always a little shook up at how I made it through, but this year it’s especially prevalent. We made it, though. Just.

In September this year, I should (hopefully) be starting university as a student mental health nurse and I’ll be able to pursue something that I’m so passionate about. So, in the coming weeks, I will be attending several interviews in order to try and achieve an offer to study and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement! My UCAS is sent and thus begins the waiting game and the constant refreshing of UCAS track. If you were to tell 14 year old me writing that first ever blog post that I would discover a career path that I’d feel so strongly about and fall in love with a university that I could now potentially be going to, I would’ve told myself to leave and have a long hard think about the absolute shite I’d just spewed. I’m glad to say I was wrong about that!  There was a time when I was going to be stopped from starting sixth due to my mental health, so the fact that I’m actually in a position (maybe still not a mentally great one) but still an able position, all the same, to apply and make the journey to university just blows my mind.

In the next few weeks, I will also be completing my DBT course, transitioning from CAMHS (child and adolescent mental heath services) to adult mental health services due to being 18 and so having to leave my psychologist of almost 3 1/2 years as a result. The thought of that is crushing so I’m not really looking forward to having to process the grief that will come with that. Although I have made her a little gift that I’m excited to give her. I’m really hoping it will have a lasting impact. It honestly feels like 2 minutes ago that I transitioned from my first psychologist to this one, a process which I actually ended up writing about on this blog. Scary how times passes so quickly. A-Level mocks and soon to be real exams are approaching too – way too much information to fit into my brain! So we shall see how that goes…

Christmas and New Year is always a bit of whirlwind for me with so many things happening, but I’m through the other side and whilst the next few months are seeming extremely daunting, I’m sure it’ll end up being okay. Sorry, this was such a quick post, I just wanted to say hello since I’ve been so absent over the past few months. I’m kinda out of practice, yikes! Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this blog, I know I’m kinda dipping in and out at the moment, but I promise there is better content than this rambling concoction to come. 

Here’s to a positive and successful 2017! *raises 20 glasses of champagne because that’s what the adults do right?*

-Ellen